A certain pumpkin-pondering protagonist once referred to the post-consumerism state of being as the ‘ecstasy of psychic liberation.’ I think I’ve been chasing that dragon since I was old enough to experience buyers remorse over using all my allowance to weigh my stone washed jean jacket down with a gazillion MTV-inspired buttons. Like a true Xennial, I wanted for much, much more than I needed.
The pumpkin-pondering protagonist also made mention of the fear he felt that the things which he acquired to satisfy the pressure to settle down would soon control him and restrict his movements. That’s one expectation which I’ve always bristled at – the notion that in order to be accepted as a properly functioning adult, I needed to create some sort of permanence via personal identifiers such as “career”, “street address” and “offspring”. Society romanticizes the concept of being tethered to these things which I have no desire for. Of course, life does require a certain level of conformity in order to survive in this jungle so I went ahead and put in the least amount of acceptable effort to appear as though I was complying while living the bulk of my life by my own definition of happiness.
So, when a Facebook stranger recently asked their followers to describe themselves in one word, and the first one to come to mind for me was ‘restless’, I knew it was about that time again. I’m sure part of this has to do with a lack of balance between the tangible and intangible contributors to my happiness lately, but that can always be alleviated with a little good old fashioned human interaction. The rest runs deep though. The reason I’m always preaching adaptability as one of the foremost answers to life’s little miseries is because ever since I could remember, I’ve been flitting from one life to another. My favorite statement, which I used to tag walls and stalls with was “Gotta go.”
Call this all rationalization of epic levels of commitment phobia, or call it selfishness or immaturity – call it whatever you like, but it doesn’t change the fact that I once happily moved 2000 miles just to entertain myself and I rarely ever bother collecting things any more. Which brings me back to the ecstasy of psychic liberation…for me it’s that feeling I get when I’ve delayed the gratification of a new adventure as long as I possibly can and I finally decide to clear the path. I’m sure I’m not alone in this fear of stagnation. I wonder just how many of the people around me who’ve settled into so-called “stable existences” experience claustrophobic moments. I just happen to act on them.
[hair] TRUTH Elixir – Selection
[glasses] Izzie’s – 90’s Glasses
[top] Kaithleen’s Veronika Set – Tshirt
[shorts] Decoy – Kae High Rise Shorts: Dirty
[head] GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face W001
[shape] my own
[Merak] – Recycled Privacy Screen (@ C88)
[Merak] – Starry Telescope (@ C88)
Apple Fall Aspidistra in Wicker Planter
West Village Charleston Curtains – Cream
Apple Fall Cushion – Satin Trellis, Beige
-RC- New Home Moving Box – Electronics/Computers
-RC- New Home Moving Box – Blank 2
Apple Fall Hat Box (gacha)
Apple Fall Sunbleached Setee (Robin Egg)
O.M.E.N – I Heart Roo
Apple Fall Crumpled Newspaper
illuZion – Single box bonus
Apple Fall Cushion – Cream, Hearts
Apple Fall Cushion – Tudor Trellis, Blue Large
Apple Fall Althea Rug – Antique Light
-RC– New Home Moving Box – Blank
Apple Fall Stacked Books
Apple Fall ‘Still Life Observation’ w/ Dust Sheet
[pose] Diversion- Lowkey – 5m
*pumpkin-pondering protagonist is what I call the lead character in Tom Robbins’ Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates. You can see more about the book and the character here.